All too often in my psychotherapy practice, I have heard gut-wrenching stories of profound and deep loneliness. My personal and professional experiences with loneliness have moved me to better understand and treat this multi-dimensional problem.
Simply defined, loneliness is a condition of relational disconnection, social awkwardness and prolonged bouts of solitude. Lonely people often struggle with anxiety and depression, which renders them insecure and pessimistic about finding desirable and compatible friendships. Poor self-esteem and an underdeveloped sense of one's worthiness, likeability and attractiveness prevent the lonely person from taking risks and venturing out into new relationships. Hence, they typically lack confidence and emotional energy to pursue new relationships or nurture existing ones. As a chronic condition, it can be emotionally and psychologically debilitating.
Contrary to what many people believe, loneliness isn't just a result of being alone or an absence of friends. It is a deeper problem that is caused by thoughts and feelings of inadequacy, imperfection and shame. Chronically lonely people are often holding onto pessimistic and bleak predictions about the prospects of finding companionship, social connections and supportive relationships.
The lonely often suffer in silence. For many, it is hidden behind a facade of normalcy. While smiling and having fun, many hide their core feelings of loneliness. For these people, loneliness is not a reflection of what is happening in their lives at any given moment, but what occurs secretively and silently within them. When around people they know, they pretend to be upbeat, positive and happy, while at the same time feeling unworthy and insecure. Since it is a shame-based experience, it is typically kept a secret. This video gives a look at why loneliness exists and the psychology of loneliness.
Lonely people inadvertently put themselves in a catch-22 situation: Social opportunities seem like a heavy burden fraught with the potential of rejection or abandonment.... More at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ross-a-rosenberg/loneliness_b_4648417.html
Ross Rosenberg's latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminar, workshop and other services can be found at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com or www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com.
Ross Rosenberg’s work on codependency, narcissism, trauma, Self-Love Recovery™, and his "Codependency Cure™" has earned him international recognition. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and the Self-Love Recovery Institute. He has traveled to 30 states and twice to Europe to present his workshops. Ross's first book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome" sold over 50K copies and is published in French, Spanish and soon in Czech. His latest Human Magnet Syndrome book, a complete re-write of the first, is available on February 1st. Ross’s 7 million video views/68,000 subscribers YouTube platform has established him as global phenomenon.
Ross owns Clinical Care Consultants, a counseling center located in Arlington Heights and Inverness IL. .
Ross's articles at http://goo.gl/XEVxgE
Dysfunctional Relationship Information.